my "2 years later.." entry
Wow!!I just remembered that i had a blog spot even! hahaah.. created this almost 2 years back.. man.. how time flies.. and i relooked at my entry... many things have happened in the last 2 years, but 1 thing has remained the same.. and that is the ever faithfulness of our Lord Jesus Christ!
I don't even know what to say.. except that.. through it all, He has always been with me.. and only recently felt that i have been such a complainer.. and not enuf of a thanksgiver.. terrible. and also such judgmentalist... horrible horrible..
haha i would not be lying by saying that i've discovered what a horrible person i really am in the past 2 years... could it be that i was blind all this time? maybe so.. or really it was the niceness from everyone else around me that made me look so good.... for all my dearest girlfriends.. thank u for bringing out the best in me all the time.. it's hard not to shine when i'm constantly surrounded by light... and now the real test comes when i walk into darkness. Was my light something that came from within, or have i always been a mere reflection of the light around me? All i can say is that i think my "light" was alot dimmer than i thought and what u must have thought too for all your kind words to me.. but i thank u for first showing me that a light, an ideal CAN exist.. and it is possible. u have been an inspiration for me my dear friends!
so much frustration has come.. through discovering people's inadequacies and MINE (both realities!)...and my inability to cope with the above ... and it is still a struggle.. but i'm still learning to love the way God has loved me.. Difficult neh!!! ugh.
2 promises for this season in my life is this.. that
1) "The Lord will fulfill His purposes for me.."Psalm 138:8 and
2) ""I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. " - Job 42:2 ...
which means that NOTHING can change and foul up the plans God has for us as long as we choose to follow Him! no Boo-boo i make.. no mean person, no terrible circumstance or unfair judgement or hurt or pain will change that wonderful plan He has for me...
It's so reassuring that no matter what mistakes i have made, that when i turn to God.. He will still place me at the centre of His will... "If the LORD delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand" Psalm 37:23 - 24... How i have stumbled along so many times! God must have built alot of muscle from all that picking-upping...
anyway... apart from learning what a horrible person i really am and how much i have to change..i know i still got hope lah! coz there's One person that will never give up on me.. and this One person is all knowing and all seeing.. so obviously He does see something in my life further down the road that is worth all His efforts! :p i will still continue to CHOOSe to trust this one special Person in my life in faith and in love to the best of my ability.... in all things from my career, marriage, friendships, finances esp when things seem the most impossible!
To love God is to love His plan and path for ur life! Help me to do that, Jesus!! ibeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzz.
posted by Ivy @ 8:49 PM
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